CPA Bum

I was trying to look for a beautiful shot I took to use as my cover photo on facebook when suddenly I felt nostalgic about a lot of things.

I saw pictures from my Oath Taking as a CPA in 2009 (how I felt so proud of myself for nailing the national board exam), from after a year of working (the feeling of earning, being able to buy stuff for myself and having the capacity to give something for my loved ones), from previous summer outings (my tanned skin), gym workouts (the sweat oh so fulfilling), out of town getaways (my own share in traveling), hiking experiences (proving I can hike and I’m fit), and a lot of different adventures I had in the past years.

I miss having time. I miss being young. I miss being carefree.

Once I was in an interview and genuinely shared how I love challenges and how I crave for it. (It’s true, that’s really how I feel.) The fulfillment of overcoming one is really indescribable. It makes me feel useful and important. It increases my market value, if I may add. But then, the in between of wanting a challenge and overcoming one is unbelievably difficult. (I know, it’s understandable. It should really be difficult. You increase your value upon experiencing first the hardship. Yes, acceptable rationale. But still, difficult.) It’s not something unimaginable, really. However, the process of precisely dealing with it is anything but easy. Because at that exact moment when you’re faced with a challenge, you tend to lose yourself. I do. I can’t think the way my normal self will. There are a lot of things to consider, things that change the flow of the situation, things that can screw your mind.

That’s what’s happening. That’s what I’m sort of going through. I’m in the process of applying my “if-i-were-in-that-situation-this-i-would-do” and “this-is-how-it-should-be-done-you-dumb*ss” solutions. I’m telling you, it’s hard. But I’m good, I’m okay. I can still sort things out…

Now though, as I think of those sweet escapades and memories I used to be into, it makes me want to have them again, to make new memories and try new adventures again, to relive those moments. Hence, I come to terms with myself as I sense the urge to spend my time wisely. Because honestly, that’s the only thing I can control. My time. MY time. Truth is, ang tunay kong kalaban ay ang sarili ko. But how can I fight against myself? It’s MY SELF. I don’t want to break my heart out of doing something against my will or something I’m not happy to do. I always please myself. Of course, why would I go against myself?

Then it all boils down to one answer: because it’s for the betterment and future of… MYSELF. If I sacrifice a little, I may get huge favor in return, which is also for myself.

So the master plan: to work in full mode on my 8-hour job. Pero that’s what I’m exactly doing, eh? Ugh. Anyway, basta focus on the master plan. Always keep in mind the benefits. The future: reaping the harvest of lack of time being put to waste, i.e. more free time to chill and do just whatever, be carefree and be experienced in a lot of things. Ahhh. The future is very attractive!

So I guess, we’re settled.

For now.

Good night! Xoxo.

I’m going to talk about what happened tonight. No, not work, I believe I’ve whined enough about it on my twitter (@miadagal). Hehe. It’s not every night that I accidentally send a wrong message to everyone, that I run out of cash, and that someone approaches me and asks for money. All those happened to me on my way home. I was basag like that, daig pa ang nakainom. Haha!

I came from Crossing (Shaw Boulevard) and was planning to drop by the office to prepare some slips for tomorrow. But then it was already late. I took off the bus at Paseo around 8:30PM. While walking across Ayala Ave. to Rufino Street, I thought of why not walk back to Ayala EDSA and head home, since it’s also my sister’s birthday. (Please greet her, @rizzadagal on twitter! Hehe.) I wanted to celebrate it with her and my family. But then, my feet turned right to Rada St., off to Serenitea. Couldn’t help, I was so tired and drained, and my lips got chopped pa :( Apparently, I have a friend who sometimes stays and sleeps in that condo where Serenitea is located. So I messaged her right away to ask if she was there. What I did on my phone, instead of composing a new message, I keyed-in her name and clicked “search.” All kinds of communications I made with her would show up. I chose the one where I sent her an SMS. “Mar! U at Rada?” I texted. Immediately after a second, I received two messages. Message 1 from colleague: “Walking near Standard Chartered.” Message 2 from Mar: “Wala. Bakit?” Then after a minute, I received from another colleague: “Mar! U at Rada? –huh?” Then from another friend, “Wrong sent ka, Mia. Haha!” So I started to open my eyes wide enough to check what I sent minutes ago…. “DANG! WRONG SENT!!!!!” was my instant thinking. Haha! How did it happen?!?! Later, I recognized that I sent my personal message to the same people I greeted during Christmas. That particular message appeared on my search ‘cos Mar’s name was in there. She was one of the few people I greeted. If you didn’t receive, I apologize, I don’t have your mobile number. :) When I learnt about it, I paused and thought for a few seconds, “Should I inform them it was a wrong message or should I just ignore?” Blah, I chose the former. I texted them an apology message. Hahaha! Then, I entered Serenitea silently laughing at my own mistake.

I ordered Okinawa (brown sugar based tea) with 50% less sugar. I was carrying a backpack so when I was asked for my payment, I needed to bring it down on a chair and looked for my wallet. After three minutes of searching for money, I realized… I RAN OUT OF CASH!!! I was already at the counter and people were waiting and I already placed my order and so I should pay! But I had only one bill left in my coin purse and it was a FIFTY PESO BILL! My wallet had no bill! Only cards and receipts!!!! Hahaha! So I had to say it while being looked at, “I ran out of cash. Mag withdraw lang ako muna ha? Balik ako.” WAAAAAAHHH!!!! Thank God, there was an ATM in front of the building! I went back and paid and got my tea. I was walking back to Dela Rosa while still exchanging messages and sharing what I just experienced to some friends. Then some random man talked to me.

“Pasensya na po sa abala. Nahuli po kasi yung paninda kong mga buko pie sa Ayala. Bawal po pala magtinda dun. Sa Calamba po ako nauwi. Baka po pwedeng makahingi kahit pamasahe lang po.” Wala na akong nasabi kundi, “Magkano po pamasahe niyo?” He said, “80 po. Pasensya na po sa abala. Kung lagi po kayo dito, dadalhan ko po kayo ng buko pie.” Without even hearing his last words, I was already getting my wallet in my bag. Buti na lang nakapag withdraw ako! I gave him a hundred bucks and said, “Wag na po kayo magtinda dun next time ha… Merry Christmas! :)” He then thanked me and replied, “God bless.”

It was so random, I was so touched on that split second. So glad I was given a chance to help that man. I remembered when I was once like that… not that I got caught selling on prohibited areas, but it was when I joined Run for Pasig last year. I don’t know if I’ve shared this before but I’ll say it anyway. I left everything, i.e. mobile and money, in the car. I kept nothing with me when I ran with my sister. I totally forgot that my sister runs almost twice as fast as I do. So she finished right away while I was in the middle of thousands of people… MISSING! Hahaha! Man, I walked the whole Mall of Asia for FOUR FREAKIN’ HOURS!!! Until I reached the police station and asked if I could make use of their mobile to text my mom because, I said, “I WAS MISSING!” Wahahaha! Hilarious! After living two decades, nun pa ako nawala! Hahaha! So that’s why I felt really bad for him. It takes a lot of guts to ask a stranger for money or favor you know you can’t return right away or in the future. Sa sitwasyon ko nun, it was so difficult na makitext sa stranger. SOBRA! Admit it, if you were on the other side, you’d think twice and be skeptic about it. What if it was just a scam or an act, di ba? Pero wala eh, hindi ko na naisip yun kasi I’d been there. I know how hard it was. Now, I feel thankful that I bumped into him, or he bumped into me. I’m very happy to be of help to somebody. If he was lying, it’d still be okay with me.

What a very memorable night it was. Good night y’all! <3

I don’t usually tell everyone about my plans because, when I do, they don’t happen. I have a plan. And I’m working on it. I’m making it happen. And I believe it’s starting to happen.

It frustrates me, though, when other people make you feel regretful about not grabbing another opportunity. Of course, I can’t have it all at the same time. One step at a time. One focus at a time!

The plan is starting to materialize. I want to savor every moment of it. But why do you have to tell me the forgone opportunity? Really huh? I can’t believe I’m even listening to you. I can’t be that disrespectful..

I’m feeling down right now because of what you said. It still echoes in my ears. The way you said it. How loud you said it. Why do you have to make me feel frustrated?

I know. I know. We’re in control of our emotions. But how can you control one when there’s a voice bugging inside your head? Urgghhh! I feel very bad! I want to cry.

Last week, I received an e-mail regarding a search of photographer volunteers for an in-house project at work. No other information stated. Whether to cover an event or activity for the company, there was no clue. But still, without a blink, I immediately replied “I’m in!”

Why? I’m really not sure. Basta, I was just willing to be part of whatever that project was about. Actually, I even said that I was willing to be an assistant if needed! Hehe, ;-) Perhaps, it was because I believed I’d learn more about something if I get myself involved into it. I’ve been wanting to enroll in classes since last year but, due to lack of enough funds, I couldn’t. Now, I’m only taking advantage of my sister (who had many photography classes in college) and every opportunity I could get to learn and be hands-on.

The in-house project wasn’t what I expected. I’m not sure if it’s okay to mention it here, so to be safe, I won’t. But the point is, even if it wasn’t the extravagant-big-time activity to cover, I’m glad to have said yes right there and then because, honestly, not only I have learned a lot but I also enjoyed the team I worked with. :)

Okay, I’ll tell you one highlight I considered. That is “there’s no such thing as men getting attracted to natural beauty as per se.” Hahaha! I know this is funny and I’ve already shared this to some of the bosses. But really!!! That’s true. Hahaha! What I’m thinking is that people unconsciously meant (in reality) “natural beauty” as “inner beauty.” It’s not (and NEVER) the “no-make-up beauty” or “after-shower beauty.” I believe, though, in after-waking-up beauty, hahaha! But yeah, I hope you get what I’m trying to say here. I know that this seems got nothing to do with photography. But really, it’s related!!! Haha!

Okay, going back on a serious note…

I am definitely a no-expert in photography but I’m very much willing to learn and be taught. Because of that, I got aware of many things. My knowledge about people, image, and photography itself expanded because of those two days. Yes, 2 days! So, to whom it may concern, thank you for inviting me to be part of this. :)

Posted via Tumblr for BlackBerry.

I’m back on track! :)

It wasn’t about the new prospect. It’s about the fact that God never fails us. He never lets anyone stay down for a long time. He makes things equal. It’s always like that. When something not-so-good happens, there’s always (yes, I’m absolute about it) something that should uplift your spirit.

If you disagree, this I tell you. It’s not everything is served to you. You have to make an effort to see things the way God sees. Nothing is instant (except for the noodles nowadays). You should have an open mind that is willing to appreciate things, more so the little ones. Otherwise, you’ll end up unhappy all the time. You won’t enjoy anything. There’s no beauty unless you it reaches your standard. That, my friend, is just unhealthy. It’s like you’re putting up your own drama. Aping-api ka na. Eh, in reality, you’re not naman. You are blessed more than you can imagine.

So the moral lesson is to appreciate small simple things and believe that God never wants to see us sad/depressed/stressed. :)

Love life, so to bloom the lovelife. Lol. :P

6.2.11