I really don’t like writing when I’m sad cos it makes me feel even weaker.
This is such a drama. But sometimes we need drama in our lives, don’t we?
I’d been the happiest in the first 29 days of December. But we know all things don’t last. So at the night of 29th, the adverse feeling came up and boom. I’m having a very difficult time to recover. I tried many ways but my mind and heart and probably also my soul wouldn’t just cooperate.
Anyway, on the last working day of 2013, I tried listing down the highlights of the past 12 months. Mostly great things. However, I realized recently that some was false happiness. Now I don’t know if I am still to consider it as a good one as it was until I learnt that it wasn’t. Most definitely, though, it is still a highlight.
So now, after having everything laid out, I should get back the focus on my primary goals in 2014… before all these things happened. When I felt even more accomplished on my own.
It’s very similar to my home-work transportation. When I started, I commuted for a month and I was okay with it. I arrived as early as 7am, when no one else was around yet. But my brother and I began to carpool for a month or so. And I got used to its convenience. Getting off the bed later than I needed when I took the shuttle service. Now I should and must go back to taking the public transportation because I want to save up and cut down my expenses. It will be hard but I must do it. So I will.
My real life has gone just the same. The things I did last November were so different in this month. And November was better. However, December was funner. But it shouldn’t be all fun.
So I need to recall all those I planned in November for the betterment of my life and career and everything else. I need to convince myself that December was just a break, a month long break from being a responsible human being. So now that it’s about to end, the YOLO perspective should also go back to rest. At least for the next 11 months or longer.
2013 is one of the best years of my life. And I would love to share the highlights of it.. but maybe some other time, when I’m less vulnerable.