Memories of the first day are keeping a smile on my face.
We talked like high level prisoners. Conversations without really looking at each other. It was fun. Whispering and avoiding getting teased. It was a mistake being afraid of having nothing to talk about anymore (‘cause I’ve known (more of researched and stalked) everything I could on the internet) because I actually have a lot more to discover about him (this time, stories are coming straight from him). In such a short period, I learned his plans for the Holy Week, when he graduated, his ex, his previous job, his parents, where he lives, his route, his sport, his training schedule. Oh boy. And the most important gesture, he took the initiative in opening up a conversation with me. I was so nervous of not being able to do that. Thank God he did.
So there’s really this stage. Quarter life stage. Two years ago, I couldn’t wait for time to pass me by. Now, I’d trade anything to delay it. This is by far my favorite time in life. You’ve grown up to be responsible at doing whatever you wanna. Hence, you can do anything. You are invincible in your own litte way. My point is.. there is always sunshine after the rain. Whatever you’re going through, get the best of it, as it will never last. (Screen captured on timehop app, you must download!)
So this is it. One sleep left…
I know I’m a fool for making a big fuss about this. I can’t help myself, though. Maybe because I know too much of that I shouldn’t.
Good thing I’ve good friends to remind me to take things as they are. Don’t think too much. If it fails, it fails. If it works out, then it works out. Normally, as how life in general should be.
I don’t know whose prayers were heard… yours or mine. Because I can’t remember any prayer containing such. I am really taken by surprise.
Like the kind of surprise where your mouth goes like O.
Tomorrow sounds so uncool right now.
I probably should get back to reading books. Reality’s become too much to handle as of the moment. Or maybe it’s just me. And my hormones… messing up with me.
So there is this change… about to happen.
I’ve known it since day one. I was briefed that “then” would just be temporary. It wouldn’t be for long. I was able to put that in mind for motivation to get things done as fast as I could. It worked. I finished “then” on time, if not earlier than the deadline.
There came “now”. I do well. I am learning the strokes of this art. I am starting to enjoy the challenge and responsibilities that go with “now”. I feel blessed to have friends who are willing to teach me a thing or two here. I am feeling comfortable in this zone.
Until “future” introduced itself to me last week, lacking confidence and full of uncertainty. I’ve thought of worst possible things that could happen. The difficulty in people I might be dealing or working with. The adjustments. When I thought I’ve considered it all… today happened simply to take me by surprise.
The unimaginable “future” has become reality. It was the last thing on my mind, if not not at all. But the “future” is bound to happen. However unexpectedly.
A great number of friends sent me their congratulations, while I am still wondering what for.
I fear the “future”.
I know you will ask me “who doesn’t?” but it’s different this time.
It’s like the universe had done two close-to-impossibility experience in my life on the 1st quarter of the year, and this being the 3rd. I’m starting to believe that the universe is sending me a message that I need to hold on to. And I’d probably hold onto it way too tighter than I should.
And that what fears me the most… I guess… right now… that I misunderstand the message the universe is getting across.
Yes, I cried for that. Bummer.
Life always has a way of surprising us.
We all are going through something one way or another. It will never justify one’s behavior. It’s never an excuse.
Own up to your mistakes.
My siblings and I just finished watching the latest episode of The Vampire Diaries (TVD) here at home. Well, first, there were a lot of imaginary scenes they put, making the audience think of anything but the real deal. Second, that moment when Caroline came back to Stefan and told him how she failed to do what she was supposed to in the city. That moment made me realize how I really wanted their relationship to go. I don’t want them to develop romantic feelings for each other.
Everything now seems a cliche. Movies make sure that opposite sex can’t have a platonic relationship. And I honestly want to believe that there is such a relationship where you don’t feel conscious about doing something that will make the other get turned off. I believe in honestly caring for each other, not for romantic intentions but for a genuine friendship. Just like the kind of relationship we all have with our friends in the same sex… it’s possible.
While watching that scene of TVD, I said aloud my hope of them to not kiss. And I was so glad they didn’t.
It’s an undeniable fact that everyone who works for my employer is thankful, and forever will be, for the life support it has provided each and everyone. But I am not here to speak about the only thing most people know about my employer, i.e. $$$. Instead, I am here to share with you the beauty of relationship I have developed with the people I work with for the past (almost) 6 months.
I am unsure if I’ve mentioned this in the past (or if I just keep repeating it in my head) but if ever that I have, it’s still okay. This is about appreciating people around us, whoever and whatever.
On my 2nd day of service, I am truly blessed to get an invite for lunch with these young professional ladies in my department. And luckily, I was prepared to accept as I had my baon on hand. As usual, I was shy the first time. I responded yes, no, and smile when in doubt. As much as I wanted to put my thoughts into words out loud, I refrained myself. Scaring them off was, of course, the last thing in my things-to-do-to-gain-new-friends list. They were very welcoming, hilarious and made sense to me. I liked them since the first lunch meal we all had together.
Expectedly, I know you are wondering about their age range. Yes, there are a lot of well-experienced employees but it is equalized by the same (if not more) number of young professionals currently employed. How come, you ask. I say, because there is such a thing as retirement. People get old and take a rest. (And I know people who can’t wait for this time in their lives.)
I am very thankful to have people who understand me and at the same time already know the should be in reality of life. We are all brought up by our parents whose generation is entirely different from us. It feels better to have people around you who are still within the same generation as yours but already in a higher level in living life, i.e. family.
I am not complaining about those I worked with in my previous employer, I love and appreciate them just the same. I’m thankful to be given a chance to know each and everyone of them. But there will come a point in life that you have to grow practically and emotionally. Honestly, these people cannot help you, as much as they want to, because they lack the credibility and, most importantly, experience to share with you. And it’s okay. I’m sure they think the same way about you. It’s normal. How can you teach something you don’t know, right?
What I am really thankful for is the chance given to me to have friends that will last longer than my retirement. I am so happy.
Last week, while my brother was sleeping and I was driving on our way to work, with no background music, only the sound of engine screaming, I realized something that made me overly ecstatic. When I shared this to my officemate upon my arrival at my desk, he was so shocked… maybe out of disappointment or frustration on me.
You see, all this time I went partying and spending time with my friends and enjoying my energy, after work or during weekends, I thought with all my heart that I was already 27 years old. That I was running out of time doing all those things. That I hadn’t enjoyed my youth enough just yet. But then, at that very moment I was driving and thinking (and probably computing) about how much time I have left, I found myself smiling while I asked my brother to compute himself the difference between 2013 and 1987. And boy was I in bliss. In fact, it made my day! I told my office-friends about it and they, too, were shocked to see me overjoyed with my age, like as if I should never ever have forgotten it on the first place.
My defense, however, was this: I found it easier to remember my age when I was a little younger. Like until 15 years old, maybe. Why? Because people always asked “how old are you” and so I never lost track. But in this time, people seldom ask and when they do, I always kind of joke about it saying that I am only 23. Haha.
Years go by so fast these days. Either you go for what you want or be frustrated. Let’s enjoy the former please.
I’m so happy I don’t think anyone will ever understand. Hahaha! These people are the ones that made 7107IMF oh oh oh soooooo fun!!! My first ever music festival is effing awesooooooome!!! (Credits to @chinyjvo and @reindale for the left pic and vid, respectively.) #weare7107 #7107imf #7107hangover #walwalan2014 (at 7107 International Music Festival)